


Emerald Green

by crescendohowell



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: M/M, but that's fine lmao, idk this started out with an idea that didn't develop into much more than a little drabble, kinda angsty but soft ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 17:44:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9396149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescendohowell/pseuds/crescendohowell
Summary: The thing is, Even thought that he was used to the feeling of drowning.But then there was Isak and Even felt like he was drowning in a completely different way.  There was stolen glances and soft smiles.  Ordinary things, but for some reason they made his heart stop, aching like it might fall out of his chest, and Even didn’t know if he would be able to stay afloat.  Or even if he wanted to.





	

The thing is, Even thought that he was used to the feeling of drowning. He knew what it felt like to be weighed down by something that people couldn’t see yet pulled him in all the same. He knew what it felt like to wake up with a weight already pressing on his chest, when he knew that he wouldn’t be able to make it out of bed that day and it felt like he was drowning because everything was muddled and oh so hopeless. 

That’s not to say that he enjoyed the feeling of it, but rather he had grown numb. He had figured out how to deal with it. Sometimes it was bad, but most of the time it was okay. It was manageable and most of the time it seemed like everything was working out fine Things weren’t great but he was staying above the surface (even if it was just barely above) and that was okay. He could live like that.

_Just another_  
Emerald green darkening  
Into black  
Pulling deeper until only  
A pinprick of sun  
Remains. 

But then there was Isak. And Even felt like he was drowning in a completely different way. There were feelings that he had never felt before and they were so strong they threatened to uproot everything, pulling him away in the current of it all. There was stolen glances and smoke from the weed and soft smiles. Insignificant things really. Ordinary things. But for some reason they made his heart stop, aching like it might fall out of his chest, and Even didn’t know if he would be able to stay afloat. Or even if he wanted to.

He knew that he was completely fucked the night of the first party at Isak’s flat, when their almost kiss was somehow more exciting than anything that had happened in years. He needed to kiss Isak, so terribly desperately, and when he left the flat that night, it was the only thing he could think about. It was all he could think about when Sonja kissed him later that night. Maybe he didn’t have to settle for okay. Maybe he didn’t have to settle for staying afloat, for staying with someone who knew him better than he knew himself because that was the safe thing to do. Isak was more that all of that and Even could barely breathe.

_Something more_  
Crystal clear blue  
Sparkling with  
Sunlight  
Pulling closer. 

“I’ll try again.” Isak protested. He could hold his breath longer, he really could. It was all the fault of the water he accidently swallowed.

Isak’s normally curly hair was pushed back off his forehead, soaked with the water from the pool and Even could feel his cheeks hurt from how much he was smiling. “Now together.” Even suggested.

“Together?” Isak asked.

“On three?” Even didn’t give him a chance to say yes.

“Last one to come up wins.” Isak agreed. 

“We’re going together on three.”

3, 2, 1.

Then he was actually drowning. Quite literal suffocating-from-water drowning, but when Even kissed Isak he knew that he would be happy to stay underwater forever if it meant kissing him. When they went under again and Isak was the one to lean forward, Even’s head felt clearer than it had in forever. There was none of the numbness that normally keep him ever so slightly separated from what was actually happening. 

Instead there was only Isak. There was their lips, pressing together, moving so desperately and Isak’s hands on him, pulling him closer. Even couldn’t believe it, yet at the same time he could feel it all so clearly. This was actually happening and fuck it was so much better than he could have ever hoped for. It was infinitely better than just okay and breathing had never been easier.

_Light_  
Surrounded by sunshine.  
Lips moving  
Hands pulling  
Softly. 

“Have you ever kissed a boy before?” Isak asked him later, when they were lying tangled together under Isak’s soft duvet.

“No,” Even answered softly. Truthfully he hadn’t thought much about who he wanted to kiss in the past. Him and Sonja had been dating so long it had always been her. 

“I haven’t either.” Isak paused before continuing. “I’ve wanted to though.”

Because Isak had things in his past too. Even could tell that, he could see it in Isak’s eyes when he thought nobody was looking, and Even knew that Isak had kept everything internalised for much too long. Neither of them were perfect, but that only made them lying together so much better. It was more than they could have dreamed of.

They weren’t all the way there yet. There were still questions left unanswered and conversations avoided. But lying in bed, the smell of chlorine still in Isak’s hair when Even leaned in to kiss him, things were good. It easy to be like this, as effortless as floating, so Even let go. And he   
was finally able to breathe.


End file.
